This is going to be my personal blog and I guess i’ll be writing my inner thoughts here. All the stuff that goes around in my head and that I don’t really share with anyone is going to be shared here. I’m only doing this for me as part of the process I am going through to find myself, find meaning, find purpose and start living the life I want instead of just dreaming about it.
I’m 31 years old (almost 32) and I feel that I’ve been watching my life go by before me. If you will imagine your life course as a long highway than It feels as if i’m sitting in the back seat of a car which is already better than being in the trunk, where I feel I spent most of my living years. But it still not good enough. I want (and need) to be in the front seat. I want to control my life. Where it goes. How fast it goes. I want to be in control of my life.
And late is better than never.
Going from the trunk to the backseat is not something you should under estimate. It is huge progress and if I had to say what helped me make the jump I would have to say that understanding your situation and making the decision that you want (and need) to change it. Being more mindful to what goes around in your head, to your emotions. Understanding them and accepting them.
That got me from the trunk to the backseat.
Now i’m in the process of moving to the passenger seat. That will get me one step closer to being in control of the car and eventually, my life .
I must say that this journey is far from easy. Dealing with what goes around in your head and with your emotions is HARD. Changing habits that you built for 30 years takes time. But it can be done and I will do it or die trying.
I have no other choice. We only get one life to live and I want my life to mean something. I want to love my life and be proud of the life i’m living. And i’m on my way there.